.Publisher's Details: The complying with is the message of a character from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reviewing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed significantly about specifics of this particular mission during the month I've been right here, generally for pair of reasons: the very first being actually that there has been very little bit of opportunity to carry out that type of creating, and also second of all because I'm not sure exactly how comfortable I am actually sharing notions I show to friends and family along with the remainder of the planet.Properly, undoubtedly the planet altered today. What I point out or even do is extremely small contrasted to the significance of what occurred to our nation today when it was assaulted by ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I reckon. Tough to recognize at whom to guide our anger and fear ...I had actually simply completed a number of tasks this morning, the best time-consuming being actually the physical exams of all team participants. In a personal chat adhering to that, the air travel specialist told me they were having a really bad day on the ground. I possessed no idea ...He defined the situation to me as greatest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually dumbfounded, after that frightened. My 1st thought and feelings was actually that this had not been a true chat, that I was still listening to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It merely failed to seem to be achievable on this incrustation in our country. I could not even imagine the details, also prior to the news of more damage started coming in.Vladimir visited fairly quickly, noticing that something incredibly major was being actually reviewed. I swayed Michael into the module at the same time. They were also astonished as well as stunned. After our experts authorized off, I attempted to reveal to Vladimir and Michael as greatest I can the potential measurement of this act of terror in midtown Manhattan and at the Pentagon. They precisely understood as well as were actually incredibly compassionate.I glanced at the Globe Chart on the computer to observe where over the globe our experts were and saw that we were happening southeast away from Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a handful of moments. I zipped around the terminal until I found a home window that would certainly offer me a scenery of New York City and ordered the nearby camera. It occurred to be a camera, and also I was actually appearing southern from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have an odd bloom to it at the foundation of the column that was streaming south of the city. After reading through some of the newspaper article we just received, I believe our company were checking out NY around the time of, or even shortly after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. Just how awful ...I swept the video camera all along the East Shoreline to the south to see if I could possibly find some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, yet nothing was visible.It was rather difficult to think of work after that, though our company possessed some to perform, but on the upcoming track our experts went across the United States additional south. All three people were operating a couple of electronic cameras to make an effort to acquire perspectives of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, yet no certain resource could be observed. All of it appeared extraordinary from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can not envision the unfortunate scenes on the ground.Aside from the emotional impact of our nation being tackled and also 1000s of our consumers and perhaps some pals being gotten rid of, one of the most difficult emotion being where I am is one of solitude.Upcoming day ... I presume the exhaustion and psychological stress acquired the best of me. I could not remain awake as well as continue to create. Today was still difficult, however our team began receiving additional details, plus our experts possessed the honor of talking directly along with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured our team that the ground teams would certainly continue to function and also guarantee our protection, as well as the secure procedure of the Place. Our experts likewise spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that included that the companions in the System are all entirely devoted to carrying on risk-free procedures as well as help. These were actually never questions for me. I know all these folks! The ground groups have actually been astonishingly encouraging, extremely understanding of the effect of the information, as well as have attempted to become as valuable as achievable. They have all been actually extremely qualified as well as focused though I can not picture the interruption of this sort of headlines can be found in and the thought and feelings that authorities structures may be at risk. They certainly never skipped a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And also a team of senior staffs as well as buddies offered our company a rather comprehensive instruction about what was known and what was actually being carried out in the government and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually extremely beneficial as well as type of all of them to carry out in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has likewise been helpful as well as practical, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our very own properties were actually inoperable, as well as stating kind words ...My crewmates have been fantastic, too. They know it's been actually a challenging day for me and the folks on the ground, and they've tried to become as even keeled and also useful as possible. Michael also fixed me my preferred Borscht soup for supper. And they give me a lot of space to think when I needed it. They are actually extremely thoughtful as well as naturally shocked at whoever would do this.I understand numerous folks in Washington, so many people that journey to DC as well as NYC, a lot of who are pilots, that I felt certain I would get a minimum of a handful of pieces of trouble over the following couple of days. I obtained the very first one today when I discovered that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that struck the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I met Chic during plebe summer when we resided in the D&B with each other, and also our experts possessed lots of classes all together. I can't imagine what he must of gone through, and also right now I listen to that he might have increased further than we can easily also think of through possibly avoiding his aircraft coming from being the one to tackle the White Residence. What a horrible reduction, but I make sure Chic was fighting fearlessly to the end. And tears don't flow the very same in space ...It is actually difficult to describe how it experiences to become the only American fully off the earth each time such as this. The emotion that I must be there with each of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is frustrating. I know that our team are on the threshold (or past) of a horrendous switch in the past history of the planet. Numerous things will never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the manies thousand and countless folks directly affected through these horrendous actions of terrorism, yet perhaps for we all. Our experts will certainly locate ourselves really feeling in a different way about dozens of factors, featuring perhaps room exploration, sadly.It's awful to observe smoke cigarettes pouring from cuts in your own nation coming from such a great point of view. The duality of being on a space probe dedicated to boosting everyday life on the earth as well as viewing lifestyle being damaged through such premeditated, horrendous process is actually jolting to the psyche, no matter who you are actually. And the understanding that whatever will definitely be different than when our experts released by the time our experts land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and also in our leadership that we will do whatever achievable to much better shield her as well as our family members, and to take compensation for what has been performed. I possess self-confidence that the excellent people at NASA will do every little thing needed to proceed our purpose safely and return us properly at the correct time. And also I skip every one of you significantly. I can not exist with you in person, as well as our team possess a long way to head to finish our purpose, yet be actually particular that my soul is along with you, and also understand you reside in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final character ... Fortunately, it's been an active week up listed below. And also to show that, like our country, our team are advancing our intended pathway along with organization customarily (as long as achievable). Tonight the current enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment are going to be launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (United States time), it will dock with us, at a port never ever utilized prior to on the low point side of the Solution Component. This new module will certainly offer our team yet another area to dock a Development or Soyuz and will certainly deliver a sizable airlock along with two able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our company are going to carry out a few of prior to our company return.The problem just before in handling today was inadequate headlines. The issue right now is actually way too much. It came all at once when email was rejuvenated, and also there is actually insufficient opportunity to read it all! Plus it is actually too difficult to take care of all of it at once. However I appreciate acquiring it, as well as I truly appreciate the fantastic letters of assistance and friendly relationship I am acquiring.Our team are actually prospering aboard, getting our work performed, as well as talking about traits. Final evening our company possessed a long dialogue over supper concerning the significance of these occasions, the feasible activities to follow, and also what ought to be actually done. After supper, Michael challenged informing me that every email he obtained from friends in Russia said especially to inform me just how regretful they were actually that this taken place, expanding their condolences, and also asking how I was doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Area. (Both the Russian and the English words are considerably too lengthy to pronounce quickly.) Really kind individuals.For the last 2 days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to send online shows of radio news regarding the event and also associated accounts, to ensure I was actually effectively updated. Every professional that has actually come on free throw line to cover an operation or even an issue contends some point extended hellos to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the wedding of remembrance in the US, all the time folks had actually been delivering blooms and lining all the walls of the US embassy in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually lighting candlesticks in the road outside the consulate. Exactly how the globe has actually changed.People almost everywhere appear to acknowledge the senselessness and also terror in this strike. As well as the enormous loss. Moscow has dealt with these sort of complications in the final handful of years along with house and also metro battles, so they are actually as distressed to eliminate this danger as we are actually. However all-time low series is actually that there are good individuals everywhere who desire to reside in peace. I read that a little one inquired, "United States is thus excellent to other nations, our experts consistently assist every person, exactly how can they loathe our company a lot?".I wish the instance of participation and leave that this spacecraft plus all people in the course display daily are going to someday influence the rest of the globe to operate similarly. They must!Regrettably, our experts won't be actually flying over the US while individuals are actually igniting candle lights. Don't understand if our team could view that anyhow. We carried out, however, observe an incredibly uncommon and also beautiful view a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. We were actually overtaking it and also it emerged concerning 3 mins after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our station, so it was still unaware. It looked like a huge comet along with a straight, large rear silhouetted versus the darker world under. In spite of some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sunlight hit our home window at a low angle, I managed some video clip of it as initially our experts passed the rocket, and afterwards viewed it start to mesmerize as it acquired altitude and also rate. I filmed till major motor deadline as well as booster separation occurred just as our experts came close to sunrise on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Lifestyle happens, also precede. We're listed here to stay ... Frank.